i can’t believe it!!
August 28th, 2006
no matter how hard i try to forget it, i just can’t get it off my head..i mean, whoever would think that i lost my cell phone in my own house, in my own room?! so ironic right? i’ve had that phone when i was still in third year high school and i loved that phone only to find out that it was lost in our house!!!
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i’m so happy!!!!
August 23rd, 2006
sometimes, we have to let go of something to find real happiness…
finally, nawala na jud si ryan sa akong life!!! well, sa akong mind and heart d.i.,bsta..it’s amazing how someone can bring you so much pain at first but then
when you start to tell yourself that he is not at all worth it,.wow! it just suddenly disappears!!!
sometimes the feeling of letting go and moving on is a lot better that holding on to something that is so uncertain..it was really so foolish of me!!!hahaha!!!
now i can laugh!!! amazing!!!!
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twist of fate
August 1st, 2006
"the one person who gives me strength is gone…"
My whole life is a mess. Right now, there are so many things that makes me feel so confused, depressed and unwanted. I’ve never had this "self-pity" feeling my entire life. My mom and dad are technically "waging war" against each other- mom has this "go away" look un her face whenever dad is around and dad has this "watch out for me" look on his (if you know what I mean!). It’s like each one of them has bad thoughts towards the other. And my sister and I are caught in between. There is no "cease fire" and i always know that neither of them will win this so-called war.
And I don’t like the people in our house. Yeah, call me a drama queen, but I really don’t. They always, and I mean always count our faults, in my case, my faults!! They always have a say on what I do. Sometimes I really can’t stand it that I go out and be back really late when all of them is fast asleep. I hate it!!
And the one person who gives me strength is gone, he is gone and I can’t make him come back same as I could not make him stay.
I have a feeling of wanting to cry but my tears would not fall. I force myself to smile but it is not what I want to do inside. I’ve never felt so overtaken by my emotions my entire life before.
The one person I love so much is gone. The one person who gives me inspiration is gone. I force myself to be oblivious to the fact that I still love him, but the feeling always comes around. I love him and although right now, I deny it to others, I cannot deny that to myself. Because of that I tend to hide and wallow with all these emotions alone. I blame myself for letting all these happen to me.
I blame myself with what’s happening to my life!! s***!!!!!
He is gone. He is really gone. He is not with me anymore. I have never felt so lonely before. The one person I love so much is gone. :’c
I can’t make him stay.
Am I not good enough?!
Do I need to change myself?!
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