a letter to a friend..

September 13th, 2006
Dear Ate Naan,
Life in Apas is really not the same without you. Ever since you went away I have been missing you a lot, something is lacking. You took a piece of me with you and now I feel so incomplete.
I wish you will be back soon. You are the "bestest" friend I have ever had, why do you have to go?!
Hai..I miss you.. I just do!!
I know I seem so "unemotional" when I’m with you and I was not so expressive with my feelings. But I really appreciate the friendship that you have shared and will continue to share with me.
I just want you to know that I will be waiting for you everyday until you come back!!!
here…
in Apas..
I miss you!!
I love you!!!
Take care of YourseLf!!!
Love Lots,
_mara_rev_
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exactly the same feeling that i felt then..

September 8th, 2006

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I’ve learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it’s not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that’s weakness in your eyes
I’m forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can’t possibly break
When it wasn’t even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don’t know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I’m ashamed of my life because it’s empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

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something is lacking…

September 8th, 2006
emptiness..loneliness..that is how i feel these pass few days..i don’t know why but something is really bothering me..something is lacking..
i am so sick and tired of playing..you know, flings..boys..i had a serious relationship once and i was very stupid to let it go.
now..i don’t know how i feel..something tells me that i miss the life where you are sure that someone loves you..i don’t know..it’s kind’a confusing..
c’mon..i don’t know what to say anymore…
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