what a place!!

January 31st, 2007

Bite Me!!!!

As I was reading "Philippine Painting and Society" by Rosa Maria Magno-Icagasi, I came across this poem that she read to her students upon discussing the painting Gadgets, by Cesar Legazpi. It goes like this:

Seven time seven and

I have copied this using the exact form it was show in the article. In her write-up, Icagasi pointed out that Legazpi’s Gadgets is " a dramatic rendering of the dehumanization of men working in the factory. The title Gadgets refers, on one level, to the machines, but on a deeper level, it refers to the workers who have been dehumanized and reduced to becoming mere tools themselves. Thus, we are now led to pose the question- which are the real gadgets; the machines or the once-human figures?"

I highlighted the whole paragraph upon reading it. Even though I may not have the bet interpretation of this context, I actually understood what Legazpi and Icagasi was tryong to say.

This does not only represent those who work in factories, but other people who have been slaves and robots as well. Those who were made to follow other people’s shadows.

Perhaps it is unfair, but let’s face it! Abuse is everywhere. There are abusers when there are people who permit themselves to be abused.

I guess that’s really reality. And as much as we don’t want it to happen, we can never erase the fact that there are people in authority who have the power to demean others.

Ideal Socieety? Utopia? Are there really such places?

seven times more

I have mouthed the words

that can only echo,

feebly,

what the artist screams

on the screen: oil and sweat

and arms and levers

and eyes and bolts

become one, grinding

the hours and self away.

An imagined snap

of the conveyor

belt breaks my monotone-

I realized

I,too, am

lost: a robot

in a factory

of words.

what a day!

January 29th, 2007
don’t give up!!!
a classmate of mine sent me a text message that goes like this "it is not good to hate all roses because you got pricked by one thorn; to give up on your dreams because one didn’t come true; to lose faith in prayers because one wasn’t answered; to give up on love because one of them failed; to condemn all your friend because one betrayed you; to stop believing in love because someone was unfaithful of didn’t love you back; to throw away all your chances to be happy because you didn’t succeed on the first attempt…i hope that as you go on with life, you will not give up…"
we had a debate in socsci 2 about child labor. and our teacher wasn’t pleased with out performance, she told us to attend the debate workshop which will be organized by Lantugi, the debating organization of UP.
well, though the outcome of our thirty-minute brain squeezing  review on the issue wasn’t that good, we still have high hopes!! mass comm students don’t give up just like that…we have had other pressures and though we suck at debating, we are certainly good at other things..such as publishing an article and making our blogs!
haha! anyway, at last one of my articles was published at SunStar last Sunday. i was very much relieved!! if i won’t have an article published because i would not be able to have a higher grade..haha!!!
that’s what you get when you won’t give up!! and i’m sure we’ll be a better debater one day!!!

bored..

January 25th, 2007
"if someone talks behind your back, that just means you’re two steps ahead of her."
This is one of those days wherein I’m feeling so bored that I get to do nothing at all. As I watch my classmates looking so sleepy, I kind’a feel the same way too even though I slept for at least two hours at home before coming to my 2:30 pm history class.
Deveraja…god king…hindu…Prince Rama… I am not in the mood of understanding these kinds of things as of the very moment. I’m taking notes but I don’t really understand the trms that I’m writing at all. All I can do is stare at my black-painted fingernails. My mind is almost blank and if it isn’t for the voice of my professor who keeps on talking about kings, culture and whatever, I’d have fallen asleep ages ago!!
Boredom
Voices of whispering classmates I hear,
Talking about chances and other things.
My teacher’s reaction to this I fear,
Because to her, we are half-listening.
My mind is like a blank sheet of paper,
A paper nobody likes to write on.
Like in this school I am the new comer,
And learning things is like a marathon.

not exactly what i had in mind..

January 23rd, 2007

women are from mars..men are from venus…you just can’t understand them!!!

Nobela
Artist:
Join The Club

Album:
Nobela

Ngumiti kahit napipilitan
Kahit pa sinasadya
Mo akong masktan paminsan minsan
Bawat sandali nalang

Tulad mo ba akong nahihirapan
Lalo’t naiisip pa
Hindi ko na kaya pang kalimutan
Bawat sandali na lang

[Chorus]
At aalis, magbabalik
At uuliting sabihin na mahalin ka’t sambitin
Kahit muling masaktan
Sa pag-alis ko’y magbabalik at sana naman

Sa isang marikit na alaala’y
Pangitain kay ganda
Sana nga’y pagbigyan na ng tadhana
Bawat sandali na lang

Sumabay sa biglang pagkabahala’t
Lumabis ang pagtataka
Tunay na pagsintang ‘di alintana
Bawat sandali na lang

(Repeat Chorus)

(Repeat 1st Stanza)
(Repeat Chorus)

                  

I’ve had my fair share of unrequited love and I’ve had my fair share of pain as well. my mind went whheeessshhh…whhhooossshhh.. when i saw my crush with his girlfriend…and you know when I get a crush on someone, huh!! crush is an understatement, I just hate using the more appropriate words obsession or crazy in love in place for it.

Still, I haven’t or couldn’t get over with the thought that i saw him with his girlfriend and they were so happy together.  Exactly the same scene when he is with me! Only, i am not his girlfiend!!! Worse, he couldn’t even look straight to my eyes when I tried to make eye contact with him, he failed to acknowledge my presence in front of his girlfriend and he (of all people!) failed to introduce me to her! Just what kind of a friend is that?!

Ahhhmmm…Mara, reality check number 1. He did not introduce you to his girlfriend because "who are you to know her anyway?!" reality check number 2. he can’t look straight to your eyes because he is avoiding you, remember you had a misunderstanding?! And you seeing him with his girlfriend proves that your petty quarrel was indeed a big deal!! and the last reality check… You just told yourself not to be affected with every little thing about him, anything that has to do with him ever again…right?!

william’s definition

January 16th, 2007
SONNET 116
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
______________________________________________
i never really understood how we can fall in and out of love so easily. but as time made every experience and feelings i have for love, i realized that it was never that easy.
shakespeare made a very good definition of what true love is. but let’s not forget that it is his own perception and it may not be true for others…
well, in my opinion, i agree with him. though some say love goes on with no definitions to limit its "essence", shakespeare never really put boundaries on it..hehehe
now, i’m not making any sense…this poem is just one of my favorites. i like the meaning being hidden in the words carefully put together by one of the greatest authors in the world.

just a post…

January 15th, 2007

"can something, like love be destroyed and mended?"

something about this feeling is making me sick..i am in the internet cafe, sitting in front of computer with so much noise of high school kids playing computer games at the background. i don’t know why these people choose to play on-line games rather than studying for their tests at home..(well, i can’t blame them..i was like that when i was in high school…only i don’t play on-line games, i just sleep…hehe)

a while ago, i received a text message from my classmate’s boyfriend. the message goes like this "who shud be blamed when a leaf fell from a tree? Is it the wind that blew it away? Or the tree dat let it go? Or is it the leaf who grew tired of holding on?"

as i read it over and over again, i never actually came up with the answer. i mean, who should you blame? if i were to replace the leaf, the wind and the tree with three persons, who should you blame for the single act of letting go?

if a girl where in the palce of a leaf, would she let go of the person who was with her ever since? Would a man, in place of a tree, let her go and permit the wind to blow her away? And would another man, in place of the wind, take someone who is in some else’s arms away? it this how easy it is to ruin a relationship no matter how long you have been together?

i can’t imagine that even the "strongest" of lovers could have something along their way that can also destroy them. amidst the love and the bond between them, when one surrenders and the other one lets him or her do that, then there is no way to the relationship can survive..when both is weak…

be more honest…

January 15th, 2007

"it’s also love when you learn how to let go…"

End Of The Line

All alone I wait for you
As darkness fills this room
I don’t know why you ain’t called
Little things you used to do
There no longer part of you
Seems you left them all behind

Well I can’t believe what I’m going through
This thing it, just ain’t right
Your selfish ways, how you carry on
Somethings you just can’t hide

Chorus:
(If you want me to go) Then Say It
(Want me to stay) Then show it
(Don’t be afraid) Oh don’t break this
heart of mine
Now’s the time, If I’m right then we’ve come
to the end of the line
So Say It
(Want me to stay) Then show it
(Don’t be afraid) Oh don’t break this
heart of mine
Now’s the time, If I’m right then we’ve come
to the end of the line
Ooh Ooh
Oh Yeah

Seems like I can’t do you right
All I do or say is wrong
All the smallest thing critisized
I deserve some damn respect
Nothing more and nothing less
Don’t pretend everythings fine

Don’t hold it back if its in your heart
Stand up and be a man
Can’t read your mind
So I just say aloud
I’m trying to understand

(repeat Chorus)

Even though you’ve been doing
me wrong I still care
Do you think that by treating me cruel
that somehow I’ll disappear?
Baby I love you too much
just to walk away
Don’t make me hate you
Baby you’ve got to be
Straight

(repeat chorus)

Come to the end of the line
We’ve come to the end of the line
Come to the
end of the line (Oh baby)
We’ve come to the
end of the line (line)
Come to the end of the line
We’ve come to the end of the line
Come to the
end of the line (line)
We’ve come to the
end of the line (oooh oooh)
Come to the end of the
line (oh the end of the line)

We’ve come to the end of the line

————————————————-
how can someone be so cruel every time they feel
like you are almost at the point of giving up?
he always gives me heartache.
what kind of a love isit?! can’t he just tell
me that we’re through?!
is he doing this on purpose?
(hhmmp..prolonging the agony is no fun!!)

emotionally unstable?!

January 9th, 2007

January 5, 2007

April Mae

Chorus:

January February March April May
So many things I still want to say
January February March April May
I stop at these months
Since you’ve gone away

You were just a girl with a spring in her step
With a grace in your twirl
As you danced
As you laughed

You were always ready
With a smile, with a hand
You weren’t just anybody
Yet you still help me stand

(repeat chorus)

Bridge:

Crying all night long
Wishing I could see you
Hoping this was just a dream
But I know that this is real
All I can do is hang on
To the memories I have of you

(repeat chorus)
(repeat chorus except last line)

Oh I wish you could stay April Mae…

—————————————————————————————————

i’m not particularly thrilled to attend our class. it has been four days since i learned april’s gone. and, as what ate dionne told me and karen, we are still in a state of denial. obviously we are! and in my case, i feel so sad and sick every time i sit in my chair and watch beverly come into class, sit in her chair and no april mae beside her.

it was an ordinary monday morning when i woke up. aside from the fact that it was the first day of the year 2007, i am preparing to do the laundry, and surprisingly, i found it funny because i actually felt like doing it! i even hid my mobile phone in my room so i won’t be disturbed with my chores, though i checked it consequently for some text messages.

when i finished my laundry, i ate my lunch and then went to my room to check my phone. i had eleven messages received and all were from my classmates. i thought that maybe it was aout school, but when i read rachelle’s message about pring being missing, a bad thought suddenly came to my mind. and readinng on…i felt i was about to cry. when i read the last text message, which was from sheng, tears immediately fell. it said, "mara, c april patay na!" it triggered my emotions to…to go unstable.

and now, four days later, i am still in denial. i still can’t believe that April Mae Sumaylo is gone forever. it is still like yesterday when we were in dumaguete, still practising pregenesis, still pressured on passing articles, still taking pictures for photography and still laughing, chatting and having so much fun together…

letting go?!

January 2nd, 2007

heaven will be a better place for you, pring…

Tears In Heaven

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you feel the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
’cause I know I don’t belong here in heaven…

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?
I’ll find my way through night and day
’cause I know I just can’t stay here in heaven…

Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart,
Have you begging please…begging please

Beyond the door there’s peace I’m sure
And I know there’ll be no more tears in heaven…

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you feel the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
’cause I know I don’t belong here in heaven…

we will sing this song on friday, for our friend april mae g. sumaylo…i still have a hard time accepeting the fact that she is gone…it’s all so sudden!!!

april…she is a good person…a wonderful classmate and a very nice friend to every one…i still cannot believe that the last time i saw er was during our hum1 discussion.

when i found out that she died, i don’t know…my mind went blank…it’s almost so hard to cry because i’ve been crying ever since i read my classmate’s text messages…all my friends told me to stop crying (those who do not know pring), but…i can’t…i just find myself angry with those people who actually comfort me by telling me to stop crying!!! sometimes, i even yell at them, telling them that they don’t know how i feel and the likes…and most of the times, i find myself not talking to them…

i know it sounds stupid, but i can only find comfort in my classmate’s company; i know they understand me…

hahai…i still can’t believe it..i talked to ara, one of my classmates, and she also does accept that we will never see april again…she says that she’ll just tell herself that she’s late…

i have nothing left to say…