would i be happy?

would i be happy today if i will love someone else?

would i not feel sad if i will just end this?

would i be alright if this will end?

i guess not.

because, after all the pain..

i could not picture myself loving someone else

the way that i love him.

mine.

after what?

after sinulog. now i’m gonna make my thesis. this thing puts added pressure to me. i’m so scared. what if i won’t be able to finish this or what if during defense i’m gonna be very bad!?? what if i can’t graduate?!? ohh. the shame. i’m gonna face it. especially if i still will live in this kind of neighborhood wherein people just can’t help but to stick their noses to other people’s lives. damn. haha!

what am i thinking? is this the other side of me? the pessimistic side? can’t believe i could still think this way when i even have the time to update my blog. guess i just can’t help it.

well, anyway..yesterday as you all know was the Sinulog. It’s a Cebuano tradition that’s famous internationally. people dance in honor of santo niño; and it was the most boring sinulo for me because mine wasn’t able to come here. i just miss him so much. so, after doing my assignment, which was to photograph parts of the sinulog, rose and i immediately went home and i wasn’t able to go out the evening after that because i know mine wouldn’t permit me. haha! i just know him very well.

just spent the night doing my thesis, watching tv and playing zuma. it was fun though. haha!

here are some of the pictures i took yesterday:

damn. this crunching thing ruined it. haha!

i’ve been..

i’ve been listening to this certain for about ten times now..haha! and i still can’t satisfy the need to stop listening.

i’ve been thinking about this taiwanese drama series i’m currently watching and when will the next episodes be uploaded.

i’ve been studying for a test on monday but i just can’t get the facts straight which means; nothing, and i mean nothing, is sticking to my head about it.

i’ve been watching this bug in the window. i can’t seem to make myself kill it since it’s not really bothering me.

i’ve been planning what to teach my korean student next.

i’ve been majorly thinking and planning how to make or continue my thesis. i’m stuck!

i’ve been thinking of my boyfriend all the time!

lately, i’ve been thinking, planning, and confusing myself about a lot of things.

2009 first day of class

Start of the Day

I woke up at around 6 in the morning still feeling so groggy and very sleepy. I was really deciding whether or not to go to school and on the verge to not go to school. But for Philosophy subject, that is a criminal act..haha! So I forced myself to get up when it was 7:45 am. I was still very sleepy when I ate my breakfast! hehe..

When I was in school, I listened silently as my classmates were chatting about their vacation and their experiences when they were stranded in the terminal during the storm. And then Dennisa got in. We studied together for our first long exam in PI 100 (A Study on the Life and Works of Rizal) while waiting for our Philo teacher, Mr. Espiritu. I bought my Philo book which was very heavy only to find out later that we won’t have class!

During STS (Science, Technology and Society), we listened to the reports of our classmates. Nothing much happened during this time, I was just very sleepy. After that, we had our lunch. After lunch, Denden and I proceeded to our PI class so eager and at the same time nervous for the exam.

When one of my classmates announced that there won’t be any exam, I was relieved and at the same time disappointed. Relieved because this will give me ample time to study. I didn’t have the mood to study during Christmas break because I just didn’t have the will to. I wanted to make the most out of my vacation by not thinking about school work! That was why I studied Sunday evening and the test would be Monday afternoon..hehehe

So that’s it. Nothing much happened on the first day of class for the year 2009 because every one was still very lazy (even the teachers are!) and they still had the feeling of Holiday break in their system. LOL!!!

Unexpected News:

During the day, at around 8 in the morning, I received a text message from my boyfriend that his grandmother died. They were, well..not really anticipating, but they already had the feeling that lola would eventually cross the life of the living; it’s just that, it’s too soon. I didn’t even expected it to be now.

I’m not really good at comforting others; I just told Mine that I’ll be here for him when he needs someone to listen and talk with. I’ll be praying for lola too…